There are some sacrifices, which is what life is about, and I'm going to miss out again this year on getting a full brevet series in - and I'm having to skip a month of long-distance altogether, it turns out. I suppose if I was REALLY serious about R-12 #2, I wouldn't have run March all the way to the hilt - but it happened. I missed an opportunity to ride earlier in the month, and then the weather closed in. In the last 48 hours, the area was blanketed in snow and ice again! Of course, it's nearly melted at this hour - but it ended up canceling the KC 200K twice, and it's rescheduled for APRIL 4th. It's nice that it's been rescheduled, but the ride that was supposed to get my my March requirement has vaporized. Yeah, I had a couple extra days to get it in this week -- but life at work has been, well, less than pleasant. Still, the R-12 isn't putting bread on the table - work is, so I make my choices. It's just that simple some times: it may be a major mechanical, a flooded road, an injury, or nasty weather --- this time, it's work. The R-12 is a hard medal to get. The killer of it is, the mentally difficult Knob Noster 200K I rode last month is nothing more than a bonus 200K now... won't count, because I have to start over. That didn't sit well - but I'll get over it. I'll regroup, recharge myself a little and take it as a chance to stay rested. The 300K is at the end of April, and I've got that date set. I love the route, and I love the fact that it "should" be warmer. It'll rain. HA HA HA!!! Part of me wants to figure out a way to ramp up a little and - even if it IS a bonus 200K - get a permanent between now and then. The 70º temps have GOT to be around the corner. That might do me some good. Just get out there, and ride for a while. Maybe I will just ride a route, and not even worry about the credit.... hmmmm..... perhaps "just" a century? We'll see.
I do need to get back into the commute habit -- I've been getting to work on time, but I must admit that, lately, work hasn't exactly been the kind of environment that encourages me just bursting forth from under the covers each morning in glorious anticipation of the day's tasks ahead. I've been smacking the snooze, delaying my departure - and that's put me into the car. Ugh. This compounds the "mood" issues even further. I think I have been walking a dangerous line where I have been unable to ride as much as I probably NEED to, just to keep my head straight. Not for fitness or anything like that - just for the mental relief it provides. I can tell when I haven't ridden, because the stress just wells up - and that 's not fair to the folks around me, because I have a feeling THEY can tell, too. Cycling is VERY therapeutic in these busy times, and I need to get my daily doses in.
Burn out? Perhaps.... perhaps I'm just run down from everything else, two jobs, etc. I tell ya what, I don't like it - the run-down feeling. It's not that so-called "good tired" I remember at the end of a long day between two jobs. I need to start watching the moon cycle, and get to scheduling a night ride.... (psssst, watch your email).
It's a let-down starting over the R-12, but the silver-lining is I never really planned on continuing it in the first place. I look forward to bigger goals, farther down the road: My weight loss is progressing VERY well, to the point where I don't know what I'm going to do about work pants next week. I know that my speed will start to improve simply from not having to shove the extra pounds up and down the hills. That puts me on the track towards Tejas again. Yes -- I'm not afraid to let a few cats out of the bag -- it's no secret, I want my revenge on that ride. A lot could, and probably will, change between now and fall 2010, but for now I want to get that trophy, and make it third-times-the-charm.
This is one of those times where I really miss the 12-hour venue, like Tinbutt used to be. I need to find something like that, I think, see about breaking 200 miles. Big dreams, big dreams....
Sometimes, it makes me smile just talking about it.... when I start writing this post, I was feeling pretty glum. Now I wanna go ride.
I highly recommend it.