Well, 24-hours later I've gotten a LOT of feedback, online and off, and it's all helped to solidify my thinking on the matter.
"Opportunity, not failure" -- it's up to me to determine HOW I handle and transform this situation. I can sit back, and say "yep, I'm not ready" - so why even try? OR, I could say "yeah, I'm not as ready as I'd LIKE to be", and give it a good shot, and stop being so afraid to fall. I may have hit bottom in the diet department, but the fitness and mileage base is still in there -- it just didn't materialize at the MS-150. I still had a good time, so what's the big deal?! It's supposed to be fun, and I am REALLY gonna be kicking myself if I show up down there WITHOUT a bicycle. I'd still have fun supporting the other riders, sure, but I'd always have that wonder in the back of my head - and that wondering can kill a person on the inside. Better to try, and see, than to be afraid and not even get out of bed, so to speak. Enough whining. I'll use the information I've learned and received from others, behave off the bike, use more efficient fuels on the bike - stuff that has worked in the past, train with it this weekend - and see what I can get. Massive distance isn't gonna do anything for me in the next 14 days, so I'll just keep the legs warm; intervals were recommended, to prime the engine and get the aerobic limit pushed up a little bit. All excellent advice, and I truly appreciate all the comments I've received in the last 24 hours. Means a lot --
After all, there is always next year... but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try THIS year.
Stick to the plan -- just FINISH. And if I can't finish, just enjoy the ride. At least I will have tried!
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