March 9, 2007

Why pros are lucky.

Welp, week.... dang, what weeks is this?
six, yeah.... week six is drawing to a close, and I'm a little miffed at myself.
I blame the alarm clock, and bad habits.
After November's tragic turn of events, I have gotten into this little no-waking-up-with-the-alarm-clock habit. This is a dangerous thing to someone that is trying to train for events, and it's really shown the past couple of days.
I just haven't wanted to get outta bed -- at all, with anything that dings, buzzes, beeps, or chirps. I'm about to turn into one of thsoe guys that has random alarm clocks all over the bedroom, forcing me to get out of bed to turn them off. Yeah, that'll fly well with the wife.
Especially with the upcoming brevets that will require a 4:00am rise time. yeesh.
See, I think it's WORK. I'll pop right outta bed for the brevet, come to think of it. Yeah, it IS work. Even with the promise of a 60+ degree ride home in the afternoon, I just haven't wanted to go to WORK, that's IT!
Another dangerous habit to get into. Let's not get into the whole reason WHY work is SO fun lately -- that'd get me into trouble. Still, this too shall pass, and I think NEXT week will be better - simply because the AM temps will be above freezing.
That's another thing -- it's March. I'm officially DONE with temps that are below freezing. I think I got my last good does on the 3rd with the ride in the post below. Holy..... yeah, I'm just not real anxious to get back into multiple layers this year. Winter should be over.
I need to move to Arizona, to "training camp" territory. This is dumb. I have a friend in Texas that's already had to "deal" with 80 degrees. The midwest, as I age, is starting to get a little tired. Of course, in a couple weeks it'll be the best place on earth to live. Hencky.
I think the solution is to make work as fun as cycling. Yeah.
I've already decided that winter is NOT my season -- even tho I love the epic conditions some times, I at least need to live somewhere where winter is about a month shorter - as far as conditions go. So, working for Trek or Waterford is right out.
Let's see.... Soma and Rivendell are out in California, right? Hmmm.... Walnut Creek is a little farther north, tho.... There's always Oregon - simply for saturation-sake, there's a lot of bike culture there that I'd probably hop right outta bed in the mornings for.
I'd get my training locked up, then. HEck, I should just ride for a team. Pros are lucky. "I have to train today.... oh wait, that's my JOB. Pinch me."
Bummer -- I have to go for a ride today, and get paid for it. Shoot me. Please.
And just think of all the swag, and thousands of adoring fans that don't speak a lick of English!
Oh, no --- I have to relocate to the villa in Spain for mountain training. Francesco Moser might join us for a couple days, too. Bummer. What a drag.
Think of all the free EPO, too. And the peer pressure to use it --- common, all the cool guys on the podium do it! Ugh. Pancreatic cancer? Never heard of it. You'll be faster...taunt, taunt...
Oh, and pee in this cup every five minutes. And those guys over there with the stand-alon mustaches and perma-scowls -- that's the French press (yes, not just for a hot cup of coffee anymore...) -- they will probably smear your whole life story and call you a liar, but you'll get used to it. By the way, it's prounounced "Kwaaah-saaawnt!!!".
Watch out for Christophe Moreau, too -- he'll just haul off and smack you for no reason. Just let him pull, ok?
Oh, and you probably won't get to see your wife for a while, and your kids will watch you on TV, so it's almost like being home every night. They'll forgive you in about 20 years. No big.
Oh yeah, and I know you LOVE to advertise, so here's a gloriously detailed jersey and bib shorts kit - you must wear this at all times. They are the one's paying for you to ride -- remember to zip up before you cross the line, or we'll get a nasty letter. Oh, and keep the victory salutes clean, too, so we don't get any fines. That is, assuming you can win anything. There's a whole bunch of Aussies showing up lately that are just making it really hard to get to the front.
They'll probably haul off and smack you, too.... but they usually have a reason.
Oh, and it's probably a good idea to start listening to these Berlitz tapes.... let's see, we've got Belgian, Italian, French, German, Dutch (yeah, it's different), Spanish, Portugeuse, Russian, South American Spanish for those Kelme guys.
Oh, and I know you prefer steel, but here ---- here's a custom fit carbon fiber bike with Dura-Ace and such... don't lose it, or scratch it. The head wrench is a little skitso about that kind of thing. And, no, you can't work on your own bike. Please! He'd freak.

Ok, maybe I can just learn to wake up earlier in the mornings.
Kansas ain't so bad.
I'm 54 miles short this week, with three days left..... I think I'll just suck it up, enjoy my freedoms, and sleep in my own bed at night.
Proof that even a "dream job" can be a nightmare.
I love my cubicle. Really.

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