This wasn't an R-12-killing deal - but it helped seal the deal, I'll be honest.
Once the die was cast on flushing the rando stuff for a while to avoid burn-out, it was an easy choice to flip the weekend plans around, free-up Sept 4th, and still get in some kind of riding.
Burn-out.... mentally, I'm completely toasted. I'm not going to get into what I do at work or why it's better/worse than anything anyone else does.
I'm no fool. It's a job, and it's good to have a job or two right now. I'm thankful I have a job.
BUT. Time served, seeing what I've seen, going through the changes over the last decade: It's not good for my soul.
It's become so pervasive and hard to look past that even cycling ridiculously long distances isn't even enough to clear the head anymore.
All I can do lately is ride home, be thankful I have the health not to have to crawl into a car in this gawdforsaken traffic around here, get home, and hug my wife and kids.
...and try not to scream.
I'm bitter, I'm hard to live with, my whole body aches from tension and stress. Do I do some of it to myself? Absolutely. That's my flaw.
I need a long, long, long vacation. Sure, they could arrange that FOR me. I can't risk anything like that, nor will I. The vacation I need will be on MY terms.
That vacation largely might involve working at my part time job on a full-time basis. I won't get rich, but I'll sleep better. Ah, plans.
Honestly, I'll do what's right for the family -- I can tolerate a lot of crap, clearly... but it just gets old sometimes.
Wow, dude - like your job much? Yeeeeesh. NO worries: I ain't goin postal or anything stupid like that.
In ten years, who's gonna care? Not me. I'll be far happier in a far shorter period of time, if I'm smart about it.
Destiny - it's mine. Financial assistance in in the works, enrollment counselors are calling me, the resume is up-to-date, and certifications are in progress.
That pile of paving stones in the corner isn't going to turn itself into a pathway... I have to get my hands dirty. It's on.
So, with that departure from cycling and tiny peek into my professional life over with... it's almost long weekend time:
This weekend, I get the impression that it will be pretty easy to unplug and forget.
Email will be off. Phone will be off. The only reason I'll even have it with me: emergencies, the camera, and the music player.
If anyone starts talking about work, I'm just going to get up, politely excuse myself, and walk/ride somewhere else.
SUPER excited -- photos and remotes posts to come.
A great way to unwind from what's been a hellish month at work.
I look forward to doing pretty much absolutely nothing with a plan tied to it.
I want to see stars.
I want to hear distant train whistles.
I want to watch a plane fly over.
I want to ride my bike.
I want to sleep outside.
More to come.